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Pussy
Ding dong bell,
Pussy's in the well.
If you don't believe me,
Go and have a smell.
Jock and Belle
Jock and Belle raced to the well
To get themselves some water.
Belle let Jock win, then pushed him in,
A trick her mum had taught her.
Pitbull
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To fetch her poor pitbull some bread.
But when she got there
The cupboard was bare
And so the dog ate her instead.
The Robin
The north wind doth blow,
And we shall have snow.
And what will the robin do then, poor thing?
He'll sit in the gutter,
Stick his head down the drain,
And screech and squeal until his mummy comes and gives him a good belt round the chops.
Tea Cup
I'm a little tea cup
Made for drinking tea.
But at least I'm not a mug.
Roses
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I write dreadful poems,
And this one's for you.
More Roses
Roses are red,
That much is true,
But violets are purple,
Not flamin' blue.
Yet More Bleedin' Roses
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Poetry's not my forte.
Sausage dog.
Spider Bite
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curdled old whey.
It was sour and green, the worst that I've seen,
With mould grown for many a day.
There came a big spider,
That sat down beside her,
And bit a deep hole in her thigh.
She oozed yellow pus,
and created a fuss,
While from venom she slowly did die.
Fantastic Love
I didn't bring roses that wither and die,
Or prickly cactus to make you cry.
I passed on the pigface that grows in the sand,
And decided on something a little more grand.
My love for you is so fantastic,
That I got you some flowers,
Made of plastic.
They’ll never need water;
They’ll never go dry.
And they’ll look just as good
On the day that you die.
Mice
Hickory dickory dock,
Two mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one;
The butler stomped on the other.
Mary's Little Lamb
Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
Between two bits of bread.
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